Many people tell me that when they were younger, the world felt safer.
(Depending on their age of-course.)
Many people tell me that when they were younger, the world was a much better place - 20, 30, 40 years ago.
(Depending on their life circumstances of-course.)
My father’n law often tells me that in his day, he could walk around the streets of Melbourne any time of day and night and know and feel that he was safe. There just wasn’t that element of “unsafeness” and “mistrust” that plagues the world today.
Those were the days when you could walk down the street and look people in the eye and connect. Say hello, nod and acknowledge that person. Maybe even have a chat.
Those were the days when life may have been hard on some levels, yet there was a sense of camaraderie’ and companionship in the world. At least for many people.
These stories are from a time when it seems there was much more trust in society, in schools, in religion, the political system and in life itself. Even if life was hard, there was an underlying trust that “this is how life is and there’s not too much we can do about it.” There was a trust that the system had it sorted and that you simply had to follow the norm, the rules, and life would work out somehow.
Children were often told:
To be quiet.
To sit down.
To not make a scene.
To be seen and not heard.
To not speak until spoken to.
To just work it out for yourself. More or less….
And never children, never, never, never break the code of silence. Even if what you have seen or experienced doesn’t feel right. If you did break the code of silence you soon learnt that it wasn’t appreciated and were told that you were just making it up. So many people turned the other cheek. They allowed it to be.
And in these times of industrial growth and commitment to hard work, people simply did the best they could with what they had and what they felt was their lot in life. Parents simply did the best they could at the time, with the knowledge and life experiences that they were living from.
Kids were “allowed” to play all day without much supervision. Parents felt that their children were safe and that the children would look after each other.
Despite the glossy exterior, some, (many more than we know of or may care to ackowledge), children were exposed to abuse of all kinds – physical, mental, emotional and sexual abuse.
It seems that in many parts of the world it was just a given. It was just how life was. Your lot in life and how life worked.
The worst part of this? That there was a cloak of secrecy, an almost unspoken blanket of silence that was heavier than the titanic and less penetrable than a mountain of rock.
Many children forgot how to speak up, how to shine and how to feel safe in a world that was meant to protect them.
Many children grew up feeling that the way they felt and what happened in their life was their fault.
It’s a crying shame in my book.
Now, these children have grown up and carried within their bodies, minds and spirts an essence of abuse. An essence that, if they don’t decide to heal it, will be carried by their children, their children’s children. The cycle continues, unless it is brought to the light and healed.
These grown ups have had their own children, wishing for an even better life for their offspring.
But what many of these grown-ups don’t realise is that their children can carry the sadness, fear, shame and unworthiness that they themselves felt growing up, (and may still feel as adults,) although they have squashed it down and may not acknowledge these feelings.
Speaking of books…. I have just released my latest book.
It is creating much awareness and inspired change for children, parents and families. It brings light and love to the plague that is bullying, in all its forms. Mental, emotional, physical and sexual abuse.
I have said ENOUGH to the trauma, fear, anxiety and hurting of children.
On all levels and in all forms.
Children are telling us it is time to change how we see and deal with bullying. It is still happening, despite the valiant attempts of amazing teachers, principals and organisations who say they want it done with.
It is time to rise beyond bullying, in all its personas.
I invite you to take a stand with me.
I can’t do it alone.
Neither can you.
I know we can put an end to bullying once and for all.
Buy your copy of The Bully Busters BlueprintTM here:
I believe that within each of us, (well let’s say 98% of us), lies the biggest bully in the world.
Does the biggest bully in the world reside within you?
I’ll let you decide….
Most of us are brought up to be supercritical of ourselves, overly concerned about what others think of our physical appearance and of who we are. We are often taught to dim our light.
We are often taught to focus on the negatives, rather than the positives.
Somehow, most of us come out of our childhood believing one, two or three of the following statements:
1. I am unlovable
2. I am unworthy
3. I am not good enough
These three statements can be the basis for our belief system, our thoughts, our actions and therefore our reality.
If this is not you, I am thrilled. Simply because we need many, many people in the world to come from a place of love and compassion for self and others. We need millions of us to take a look inside of ourselves and honestly check whether these three statements are the foundation for our lives.
Then we will create some amazing change and transformation for the world.
Science reveals that our beliefs create about 95% of our thoughts. (Subconscious thoughts that is….) the ones that we barely even know are happening, and that run on autopilot. The ones that run our lives and that we collected from our time in the womb and the first seven years of our lives.
If we are lucky, 1-5% of our thoughts are in the conscious creation mode, where we are living from ease, grace and creativity. The place where we allow inspired thought to wander. We can tap into our conscious mind whenever we choose to, once we have learned how to. Then we have a good shot at changing our reality. We can swap the life we are living on autopilot, for one that gives us some input into what happens in our life.
A big and bold statement, granted.
Science also indicates we can change our beliefs.
That is why I do what I do. I believe we can help children and adults change their experience of the world. We can help them come out from behind the shadows of bullies and turn the three beliefs:
· I am unlovable
· I am unworthy
· I am not good enough
· I love who I am and what I do in the world
· I am equally as worthy as anyone else to feel safe, loved and valued.
· I am more than good enough to take my place in the world where I belong.
As a HeartMathTM Mentor and PsychKTM facilitator, I teach people how to train themselves to get out of their subsconscious mind, and into their conscious mind, so that they can consciously create the life that they truly desire.
So that they can tame the bully that lies within, and teach their children, grandchildren, students, clients, how to do the same.
It starts with adults. Then we can each teach children.
We can change our physiology, (what is happening in our bodies), our beliefs and our experience of being in the world, simply by tapping into an intelligence that is only just coming to the light. It is easy to use, is free and extremely powerful.
It is called Heart Intelligence.
Here’s to a safer world for all children.
And all adults too.
Meaning: (as seen on vocabulary.com)
1. possession of the qualities (especially mental qualities) required to do something or get something done
2. possession of controlling influence
Is the word POWER a positive word in your vocabulary?
Or is it a word that makes you shrink inside?
Was power wielded over you as a child?
Were you taught that to be powerful is a bad thing?
Do you own your power?
Do you want to own your power?
I invite you to consider that power can be a wonderful thing. (Particularly when this power is accessed through your heart intelligence).
I invite you to consider that each of us has a force within us that has the capacity to make a positive and uplifting difference in the world. An energy that when we learn to tap into it, and use it regularly, can turn the darkness into light and fear into love.
We need to teach our children to tap into their own power when, where and how they choose. It is vital for their own safety, and for the greatest good, that our children understand that no-one can take their power away from them. That we can protect our power and increase our inner battery, or power, by using simple techniques that are scientifically proven.
I believe that not only should we teach our children how to own, claim and use their own power, we firstly need to learn and regularly practice them ourselves. We need to show them, by doing it ourselves, by living this as our own truth.
For as Xavier Rudd sings,
“Children grow with what they see.”
When you were growing up, did you meet the biggest bully in the world?
Many of us did, in one form or another.
Was it a bully in the shape of another child, a group of children, a teacher, an adult or a person in a position of power?
Or maybe you were one of the bullies… one of the tough kids who the other kids were totally scared of and avoided at all costs. (If this was you, you must have felt invincible, at least some of the time anyway.) And maybe there is a part of you that wishes that you had made different choices back then……
Or maybe…. you witnessed someone else being bullied and were an “innocent bystander.” (And you are now left feeling traumatised by the nagging feeling that you didn’t do anything. Back then, or now.)
Or were you one of those kids who stood up for the kids who were bullied? (Hats off to you if that was you.)
In any case, many of us experienced the trauma of bullying in some shape or form.
And the fruits of this crop are now coming to bear.
It seems that bullying, in all of its forms, is being brought to the light to be seen, to be heard and to be healed.
Everywhere I go, people seek me out to tell me their story of being bullied. (I talk to people wherever I go about bullying and how to rise beyond it!) I listen with an open heart. I offer all the compassion, love and understanding that I can muster.
There are so many stories of abuse coming to light that has occurred in the religious sector, in schools and in the lives of children from all walks of life. In the lives of adults all over the world. Take a look…. at the political arena. A shocking display, at least in Australia, of the people in power treating each other with disrespect, distrust and a complete lack of compassion and understanding. A complete lack of unity, working together and co-creation.
In working with parents, children, teachers, mental health care professionals and organisations, I have come to realise that the biggest bully in the world lies within each of us. I am not suggesting that we all bully other people in our lives, yet I do believe that we have been brought up to be hardest on, the most critical of, and terribly tough on the person we should share the most compassion and understanding with.
Within each of us lies the potential of either coming from the ego or the place of creativity, compassion and co-creation.
From a place of love, rather than fear…..
Keep an eye out for next week’s blog post to find out if the biggest bully in the world lies within you……….